Fiendish office chatter

Sunday, October 12, 2014 by spiralspy

They say: “curiosity kills the cat”. I say: “Bullshit! The Combuster kills the Kat. Curiosity just kills the knight”.

Ever tried to read what one of those blue pit boss devlites is saying to his underlings, just to have an overtimer sneak up on you? Got killed in the process? See what I mean?

Luckily, we here at Spy Inc. HQ specialize in gathering all sorts of intel that may keep you from dying, so see below for a full transcript of all pitboss utterances.


  • Yeah… You’re fired.
  • Your productivity is down .03% this week. You’re fired.
  • Ahh, I’m gonna have to fire you. OK?


  • Go ahead and come in on Sunday, too…
  • I’m not saying to work this weekend, but everyone else is, so…
  • Glad I caught you. I’m looking for someone to really rise to the challenge this weekend…
  • Remember, tomorrow is Hawaiian Shirt Day and every other day is Unpaid Overtime Day.


  • ┬áSomeone’s getting a promotion…
  • We could use a guy like you in management.
  • I admire your ability to promote synergy.